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Learning to believe in Emotional Resilience
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow."
- Albert Einstein
My Background
For almost 20 years, I have been working to understand the health and well-being of children using surveys and assessments to capture their perceptions, views, and experiences. I believe that In order to have a positive effect on the mental health and well-being of children we need to understand the forces that affect them. We need to be able to answer the question “What do children need to cope better with the world they live in, have positive experiences, value themselves and others, and ultimately thrive?”.
For most of that time , I have also worked with young offenders supported by Youth Offending Teams, striving to understand why they have offended and what support they need to make better choices, develop a sense of purpose, and avoid reoffending. Some of these young people were deeply affected by traumatic events outside their control. Working with the Youth Offending Service I became aware of the Trauma Recovery Mode (TRM)l which is typically divided into three phases, stability, capability and positivity.
The Trauma Recovery Model (TRM)
The TRM starts with ensuring the individual's basic physical and emotional safety, focusing on developing emotional regulation skills and building resilience. Only when stability is established, can the individual begin to process and integrate their traumatic experiences, and work towards understanding and reframing these events in a way that reduces their emotional burden. These later stages emphasise re-establishing connections, fostering a sense of empowerment, and ultimately moving towards growth and a renewed sense of purpose.
Where Emotional Resilience is needed
I believe that strong emotional resilience is built through three phases:
- Stability
- social support
- physical health and well-being
- Self-regulation
- Emotional intelligence
- Capability
- Self-awareness
- Flexibility
- Problem-solving
- Thought reframing
- Positivity
- Sense of purpose
- Optimism
- Self-belief
Through the TRM, I have come to understand that developing emotional resilience is key to recognising, addressing, and recovering from trauma. Working with young offenders has shown me how a lack of emotional resilience can lead to poor decisions, resulting in offending behaviour. Additionally, through other work to understand the views of children in schools about their mental health and well-being, I see that emotional resilience is essential for providing young people with the skills and supportive environment they need to cope with and recover from inevitable challenges, as well as to avoid unnecessary ones.
The Role of Emotional Resilience in Healing
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
- Maya Angelou
In the process of trauma recovery, emotional resilience is the catalyst that determines how effectively someone can progress. Only by developing resilience , can individuals have the emotional tools they need to navigate therapy, work through difficult memories, and regain control over their lives. Without resilience, recovery can be slower, more challenging. Traumatised people need to build resilience skills first before meaningful therapeutic progress can be made. I have seen so many examples where dedicated case workers have managed to build a trusting relationship young people and help them to go from aimlessness and low self esteem to having a real sense of purpose and self belief.
Preventing Self-Inflicted Trauma Through Resilience
Poor emotional resilience doesn’t just hinder recovery, it can lead young people down harmful paths, often of their own making. In my work with young offenders, I’ve seen how low resilience can result in poor decisions, struggles with emotional regulation, lack of social support, and poor problem solving skills can lead to trouble and harm. By building emotional resilience, we’re not just helping young people recover from trauma; we’re empowering them to make better choices, avoid harmful situations, and lead healthier lives.
Building the Skills for a Resilient Future
Emotional resilience equips young people to cope with life’s inevitable challenges, whether that’s recovering from trauma, avoiding negative influences, or maintaining positive friendships. When children are resilient, they’re better able to navigate social situations , make friends, and recover from setbacks in a healthy way. By helping children develop these skills early, we set them on a path not only to overcome adversity but also to thrive mentally, socially and academically.
In Summary: Resilience as a Pathway to Healing and Growth
Emotional resilience is the cornerstone of effective trauma recovery and of a healthy, thriving life. It enables young people to face life’s difficulties head-on, recover from adversity, and make better choices that prevent further harm. By investing in building resilience for all children, we create a foundation for both recovery and prevention—a pathway that empowers young people to transform adversity into growth and emerge stronger and more capable.
What I understand is useful in building resilience in young people so far.
- Create a supportive environment with emotional resilience at its core, in schools,childrens’ services and at home.
- Supporters need to work together as a team In the interests of the child
- Understand children’s emotional resilience and where they need help
- Encourage open conversations about emotions and experiences.
- Help young people identify their strengths and find ways to use them.
- Provide a stable, supportive environment to foster a sense of safety.
- Teach problem-solving and emotional regulation skills to support effective coping.
- Remind young people that setbacks are part of life and that with resilience, they can learn and grow from every experience.
Next month's newsletter will be about support, how important it is for children to have people who they trust and have their best interests at heart, and also the importance of reaching out and developing those relationships with children who don't.
"Ask for help, not because you are weak but because you want to remain strong"
- Les Brown
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